A Random Thought

This has nothing to do with anything in particular, but as I was listening to the radio this morning, these thoughts came to me...I'm sure many of you can relate...

Music always takes me back to the place when I first heard it, or when I was listening to it 24/7 because I couldn’t get enough. And it’s not just the time and space, but the feeling…who I was and what I was thinking and feeling. The sights, sounds and emotions of the time come back to me vividly…almost as if I am reliving my life.

That is the way of music, the soundtrack of life.

There are actually certain songs I cannot listen to because they are remind me of painful things, things I would rather forget. And then a song will come on, and I feel the vibe of back in the day, and a smile comes across my face as wide as the ocean.

That’s the way of music, the soundtrack of life.

Perhaps that's why I love it so much...

Grace and peace,
mish

The Fringe, Part Two

The Fringe, Part Two

Well, here is Part 2 of my testimony. If you haven’t read Part 1, make sure you do so before reading this one…this will make more sense with the background from the first part of the story. I apologize up front: this is kind of long. Be blessed…

The Fringe, Part 2
by Michelle L. Lewis

I was raised in the Black church. Church life was central to our family, extending back generations. I was a “cultural Christian” by virtue of my family, but did not embrace the truth of the Gospel until my conversion in 1999. When I finally did come to know the Lord and wanted to return to the church, I was faced with a dilemma – the same dilemma I faced when I started college. Will I identify with Blacks or Whites? There is very little crossover. The prayer of my heart was that the Lord would lead me to the church He wanted me to be in to grow and serve Him, and this turned out to be a White church. This decision caused much conflict in my heart, because it did not seem right that I would have to make such a choice that would lead to my being separated – again – from my own race.

This is a struggle for me because I have come to see that God has shaped me to be bicultural. Certain assumptions can and have been made about who I am or what I’m like just by the way I look or the way I talk – and most of the time those assumptions would be wrong. My exterior package does not necessarily give a true picture of the person God has shaped me to become. The assumptions that people have often brought to their interactions with me have left me feeling misunderstood and sometimes rejected, because my true voice is not heard – my true self is never given a chance to be revealed. Some of that is my own fault – my own act of self-protection and self-preservation. But some of that stems from the assumptions we all bring to our interactions with one another. They are there whether we realize it or not. I have come a long way to be deliberate in making myself vulnerable with people – but I still have a lot of ground to cover.

Although I have been influenced by other cultures and have been shaped by the environment in which I grew up, I have never been allowed to forget or be ashamed of my history – of African-Americans in general and of my family in particular. My parents have made certain of that. Embracing all of what makes me who I am does not imply denial or shame of any one particular part. I have been shaped by it all – and I must acknowledge that.

I also must acknowledge that I have been shaped by the brokenness of my past experiences. The fact that I perceived more rejection from Blacks than from Whites growing up has shaped how I view people, and how I view the world, even how I view racial issues. The fact that I constantly had to “prove” that I was truly Black – as ridiculous as that may sound – has shaped the way I view myself and my achievements. What is different now than before is I have a foundation upon which to base who I am. As I walk through this broken terrain, I must determine what these things mean in light of my Christian identity.

The question I asked myself as a young child, and have been asking myself for the balance of my life is what am I? But the proper question is who am I? This question can only be answered properly by stating that I am a child of God, redeemed by the blood of His Son. In spite of my experience, I know that the truth of God’s Word is that “there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for all are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:29 ESV). The same Lord is Lord of all (Romans 10:12), and the racial distinctions we have used to separate ourselves from one another are meaningless before the cross. We all fall speechless before God, for we are all fallen in our humanness and sinfulness, and share the same fate apart from Christ. There is no room for boasting, no room for pride in anything before God. The cross of Christ should be the peace that brings us together, but the breach between the races that we experience because of our country’s history still exists – even in our churches. We are in desperate need of reconciliation and healing.

My identity in Christ is indeed the defining factor of my existence; but it does not negate my cultural and ethnic heritage and history. That history is still very real; it has not disappeared. In order to see me, you must see all of what makes me who I am – and that includes my ethnic heritage. My identity in Christ means that the meaning and impact of my ethnic heritage on my life must be redefined based on the reality of the cross and my membership in the household of God. This is case for all who belong to God through Christ. The diversity that exists within the body is absolutely beautiful, and must never be ignored or stifled; but, the way in which we have chosen to express our diversity has been tainted by sin…I will address this in more detail later…
The process of healing is long and arduous. I finally know where I belong; I belong to the Lord, and my identity is in Him. Therefore, the other question I used to ask – what does it mean to be Black? – has to be replaced with new questions. How do I live my life to please my Lord? What does it mean to be a Christian who happens to be Black, and how do I address the issues and problems that directly affect my racial/ethnic group in light of the truth of the Gospel? There is still a tension between that truth and the reality I face everyday. I am still in the process of healing.

I now see the struggles of my past and my heritage in a totally different light. What I used to see as a liability I now see as a blessing – if I allow the Lord to use it. My life experiences have created a passion and longing in my heart to help God’s church on earth live up to the picture He paints for us in His Word. Perhaps, as the Lord is in the process of healing my heart, I can be used as an instrument in His hands to help heal the breach between Blacks and Whites in His family. That is my prayer.

© mll 2006

Switching Gears

Okay, I’m gonna switch gears. Not that the thoughts I raised in my previous blog are no longer important, but I want to take a different route to get to the main point of that blog. The Lord has placed it upon my heart to examine further the issues I raised in my last blog entry. He has most specifically been dealing with me about these things, and that is appropriate I feel, since I’m the one who opened my big mouth and started getting in folk’s business! The Lord is now getting in mine…so, I better fasten my seatbelt, because it’s going to be a wild ride!

I thought I would start by giving you an introduction to me, and how I came to be who I am today. I will be posting this in phases…don’t want to make them too terribly long. But I want to share my “testimony” with you, and give you a glimpse into what makes me tick. So, here goes…

______________________________

“The Fringe” by Michelle L. Lewis

My first identity is that I am a Christian.

I am a child of the living God. Before I call myself a woman, an African-American, or any other identity marker that I may choose to describe myself, I must first say that I am a Christian. But the fact is my Christian identity intersects with the other identities God has given me. I am indeed an African-American – and that means something in our society. I am indeed a woman – and that also means something in our society. But I must always consider the meaning of these identities within the context of my identity as God’s child. In fact, my adopted status before God must shape how I define the other things that mark my identity in this world.

This was not always so for me. I lived in what I have come to call “the fringe”: between two worlds and belonging to neither one. I grew up in a predominantly White neighborhood and consequently socialized mostly with Whites. But I also had the influence of my extended family confirming my heritage as an African-American – so I have always felt like this strange hybrid…like I have a split personality.

During my grade school years I began to see myself as “different”. I remember questioning why I didn’t look like everyone around me. I knew I was Black, but I certainly didn’t look like most other Blacks I knew. As you can see, I have very fair skin, so there were times when people were not quite sure to what ethnicity I belong. I didn’t necessarily look Black; but I didn’t look White, either. So what am I, really? Now, this question has not been as much of an issue ever since I rediscovered my fro! I look a little “Blacker” than I used to!

Throughout high school, the one group that felt the strongest about me were other Blacks. I was very shy, quiet, and withdrawn, and this was perceived as snobbery. Many thought “This girl thinks she’s too good for us! She must think she’s white or something!” These are things I have actually heard said about me. Consequently, I suffered the most ridicule and rejection at the hands of my own race.

Because I did not grow up in the Black community I was not considered a member of that community, and they were not afraid to tell me so. I was told I wasn’t “Black enough”. I was told I didn’t understand what it meant to be Black. I didn’t listen to the right music, didn’t talk “Black enough”, I acted like a White girl…On the flip side of that, I was told by some Whites that I didn’t act like a “normal” Black person. At the time I couldn’t quite articulate it, but I knew there was an insult embedded in that statement somewhere, even if not intentional! What did that comment say about the stereotyped view of Blacks that person held? I was denied the very thing that will remain constant and true in my life – I am a Black!

The only time in life where this was not the case was in college. When I entered the University of Illinois, I was faced with the choice of with whom I would identify. The racial climate on the campus at the time was very tense, and there was little interaction between races, especially between Blacks and Whites. The choice was implied, but clear: you either identified with Black students or White students. There was no crossover, no middle ground; and there was an unspoken rule that crossing over meant betrayal. You were ashamed of your racial identity and had “sold out”. So I bowed to the pressure and closed myself to anything other than a surface relationship with anyone who wasn’t Black. I hung out a one of the more militant Black groups on campus, one that wished for the return of the days of the Black Panther movement. I felt I had come to accept my true roots, and would find my place of belonging and acceptance. But if anything, I was more confused about who I was upon graduating college. None of my questions were answered, the most important being “what does it mean to ‘be Black’?”.

My life was turned upside down – or perhaps I should say right side up – when I came to know the Lord in March of 1999. The Lord pulled me out of my emptiness and confusion and gave me newness of life. But the issue of belonging was still there – this time as it pertained to His body, the church…

This is part one…I will post part two soon.

Grace and peace,
mish

© mll 2006

Just Wondering...

I may start something by saying these things, but I must…

Now, I don’t want to continue on a diatribe about the evils of DVC. But the phenomenon that has become the Christian response to this film and book has me thinking: What would be the best way to argue against DVC and other attempts to undermine the Gospel?

Is it writing rebuttal books? Or picketing movie theatres? Or sermon series and teaching tapes? Let me state at the outset that I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with the enterprise of educating ourselves about biblical scholarship and biblical truth. But, I wonder...do we focus on these things at the expense of other equally important aspects?

Let us imagine for a moment…

...Imagine if we channeled all the money we are pumping into Christian bookstores and ministry web sites for books and teaching tapes into programs to help educate our children in inner cities and rural areas where the school systems are horrible.

...Imagine if we pooled all our intellectual resources and helped countries in Africa, Asia and Latin America - and even impoverished areas right here in the US - to address poverty issues, create industry, and improve agricultural technologies that would help them build their local economies.

...Imagine if we spent the same energy trying to help those countries where AIDS is killing daily and leaving millions of children orphaned.

...Imagine if we worked this hard to help rebuild the areas of the Gulf Coast that still look like Hurricane Katrina blew through yesterday...or the areas in Indonesia that have been ravaged by the latest earthquake.

...Imagine what the world would think of us "crazy Christians" if we did all of this...spent the time, energy and money we are spending defending a fiction novel based on shady "historical scholarship" working to spread the love of Christ in tangible ways throughout this country and this world.

What kind of defense do you think that would be? What kind of response do you think we would get?

Of course, I must start by asking myself these questions. So I'll direct them to myself: Am I willing to do these things?

Oh, but that would cost me something. That would involve sacrifice on my part. That would mean I would have to get my hands dirty...do I really want to do that? It seems to me that there are issues that are vastly more important that we turn a blind eye to...the very things that Jesus would want us to do. Clothe the naked...feed the hungry...visit the imprisoned...take care of the orphaned and widowed. We are supposed to be doing these things, but are we? I must always ask myself: What more can I do? I am supposed to be doing these things…but am I? Am I doing enough? Am I willing to sacrifice?

Or will I just pick up a sign and join the local church folk picketing the movie theatre that's playing DVC, ignoring the homeless man sitting in the corner? Of course, it would never be the intention to ignore...but we would - and do - ignore all the same...

Now, you would never catch me with that sign in my hand…but am I doing the other things that truly show the love of Christ and reflect His Gospel?

That’s the question…

Just a thought…but imagine…hmmm…
m.

I Tried to Avoid It...

Okay, I have been avoiding making these comments, but I have had many conversations about this with friends both on and off line, and so I feel I need to say something. I have to preface this by saying I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. I say these things in humility, praying for the Lord’s help as I walk through it.

Yes, I’m going to comment about the Da Vinci Code (DVC).

The question that is posed to me the most is why it is so important. Why do we care if Jesus was married? So what if we find out He married Mary Magdalene and fathered children? That’s not a sin, so what’s the big deal?
This question was posed to me on my graduation day…I didn’t have a good answer for him at the time, but then I started reading all the posts in the yahoo groups I belong to, the blogs of friends I’m connected with, and this is what came to me.

As a Christian, I have to say that yes, the issues raised in the DVC are very important. The issue has to do with the veracity of the Holy Scriptures. As a Christian, I must hold to the fact that the Bible is accurate in its historical accounting of the life of Jesus (and by the way, I have strong evidence to back that belief...it's not just a shot in the dark for me). If it is not, then our faith is based on a lie and is therefore invalidated. Because Christianity is a religion based on a historical event - the life, death and resurrection of Jesus - this is of extreme importance.

No, discovering that Jesus was married and had children would not necessarily change the fact that He died on a cross and was raised from the dead. But, it would call into the question the dependability of the documents we have regarding Jesus’ life and therefore these events. Because the majority of what we know about His life is found in the Bible, this becomes important. If we can prove that certain key facts about His life were omitted or mistaken, that calls into question all we know about His life based on the biblical documents we have. This is the crux of the debate about the DVC. It is an effort to discredit the foundational documents of Christianity and therefore invalidate or relativize its claims. I cannot accept that as a Christian.

I do, however, feel that the hoopla surrounding this film and book is getting a little out of hand. Most self-respecting historians will tell you that the so-called scholarship that this book is based on is shoddy. I have spoken to many very important historians at my alma mater, the University of Illinois, and they all agree on this point. I must point out here, that these are NOT Christian scholars, and would not go so far as to say Christianity is true. But they would take issue with using this so-called "evidence" to prove it's not. Many of the documents used to "prove" the theory presented in DVC have been proven to be forgeries from 1954!! There is no valid documentation that can affirm any of the claims of this book...it is a WORK OF FICTION. And we all must understand this.

The scholarship and evidence, however that proves the veracity of the biblical account is solid, and for an ancient document is the strongest you can find. There is no other document from antiquity that has as much manuscript and historical evidence as the Bible. This has been proven over and over, and attempts like the DVC have not changed this, no matter how hard they try.

Ultimately, people are going to beleive what they want to believe and no amount of "evidence" is going to sway the minds of some. This is the reality...we must be wise in how we counter these attempts, but we must not panic. God's plan is greater than the Da Vinci Code - and His truth will stand long after DVC has passed from the scene. As believers, we must live out the life of belief, not by what we are against necessarily, but by what we are for, allowing the love of Christ to live in us and through us to other people. Part of doing that is defending our Lord - and then allowing Him to work in the hearts of men and women and draw to Himself who He will.

Okay, that's all I have to say about that! (Ode to Forrest there...lol!)

Grace and peace,
mish