Singular Focus
Over the past few weeks I have been contemplating a few things about life. I am a single Christian woman. What does that mean? I came to know the Lord as an adult (I was 26), so I have the baggage of doing things the completely WRONG way...God's forgiveness covers those mistakes. But the residue remains, and it is a process to completely break free from it.
The bottom line is that I have given my life to Christ. Whatever freedom I thought I had I realize now was a mirage. It wasn't real. And the truth is, I don't want the "freedom" I thought I needed because it is really bondage. Bondage to my own selfish desires, to the whims of the culture...to sin. The Word tells us that we are slaves to the one we obey, whether it be sin (which leads to death) or obedience, which leads to righteousness (Romans 6:16). I used to think that I had to be with a man, or my life was not worth anything. This line of thinking led me to make one colossal mistake after another. I was in bondage...I was obeying my desires, and did whatever I had to do to fulfill them.
It's interesting to me that even as a Christian, I can easily fall into that trap. As a woman seeking to serve the Lord in ministry, I find myself feeing I must have a man by my side in order to serve God with any credibility. But is that true? I don't think so.
In Christ, I am free to serve God, no matter what my station in life. First Corinthians tells us that we are to serve God in the place in which He called us (7:17-24). Does that mean I should never want to be married, or never marry at all? No way! But it does mean that I don't have to change my life's circumstances in order to be His servant. I am simply called to be His disciple, to follow Him.
This thought led me to another thought. What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ? Here a few thoughts I jotted down in my journal about that subject:
Discipleship is a lifelong process. We never arrive at a point where we do not need to be discipled by someone more mature than we. We do not arrive at a point where we do not need to be taught by the Master, our Lord Jesus Christ.
It is not optional to be a disciple of Christ. When you claim the name of Christ, you are putting yourself under His authority. He is Lord – we do not have the option of deciding that. He is Lord whether we acknowledge Him in that way or not. We must respond to Him as He determines – we do not have any right or power to dictate to Him how we will approach Him. We must give up our rights; God determines our life course. Therefore, the only option we have if we truly want to be a Christian, is to yield to the Lordship of God.
What does this truth mean for me practically? I am seeking to settle in my heart the fact that I am single and possibly will be for the rest of my life. I want to be content in this station. I don’t want the focus of my life to be “looking for a man”; to think that I cannot be effective in ministry or life in general unless I have a husband to partner with. I feel I have a “right” to be married; to have that desire fulfilled. But that may not be God’s will for the course of my life. What am I going to do with that reality? With the present reality of my life as a single woman? Am I going to be embittered by it, or accept it as a gift from the hand of God and seek His desires? What does He want to do with me as a single woman? I am not worthless to the Kingdom because of my singleness. I know this – and much of my angst stems from loneliness. I desire to share my life with someone. And I cannot understand why God will not give me this desire – it is not a bad desire. He created us for companionship. But He has not seen fit to direct my life toward that end in this season. So what am I to do with this desire? And the other desires that go along with it – those desires that I awakened before their time and can’t seem to put to rest again? This is the struggle. So, I have to settle in my heart the resolve to follow Christ wherever and however He chooses to lead me. If that includes a life as a single woman, so be it. This must be the attitude of my heart. This implies a disposition of sacrifice. My struggle is that I want what I had when I was not in Christ, but cannot have it outside of His parameters.
Accepting God’s call for my life means saying no to my will, to my desires and yielding to the truth of His Word, to the limitations He has placed in His Word. I do this because I undertand that those limitations are there for my protection and for His glory. I must sacrifice my desire for the sake of following Christ. This is a heart change – a change of orientation away from my right to this pleasure and toward God’s higher purposes and plans for that pleasure. I just read in an article: “There is a higher calling on [my] life than doing what [I] want to do.”
Lord, help me!
The bottom line is that I have given my life to Christ. Whatever freedom I thought I had I realize now was a mirage. It wasn't real. And the truth is, I don't want the "freedom" I thought I needed because it is really bondage. Bondage to my own selfish desires, to the whims of the culture...to sin. The Word tells us that we are slaves to the one we obey, whether it be sin (which leads to death) or obedience, which leads to righteousness (Romans 6:16). I used to think that I had to be with a man, or my life was not worth anything. This line of thinking led me to make one colossal mistake after another. I was in bondage...I was obeying my desires, and did whatever I had to do to fulfill them.
It's interesting to me that even as a Christian, I can easily fall into that trap. As a woman seeking to serve the Lord in ministry, I find myself feeing I must have a man by my side in order to serve God with any credibility. But is that true? I don't think so.
In Christ, I am free to serve God, no matter what my station in life. First Corinthians tells us that we are to serve God in the place in which He called us (7:17-24). Does that mean I should never want to be married, or never marry at all? No way! But it does mean that I don't have to change my life's circumstances in order to be His servant. I am simply called to be His disciple, to follow Him.
This thought led me to another thought. What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ? Here a few thoughts I jotted down in my journal about that subject:
Discipleship is a lifelong process. We never arrive at a point where we do not need to be discipled by someone more mature than we. We do not arrive at a point where we do not need to be taught by the Master, our Lord Jesus Christ.
It is not optional to be a disciple of Christ. When you claim the name of Christ, you are putting yourself under His authority. He is Lord – we do not have the option of deciding that. He is Lord whether we acknowledge Him in that way or not. We must respond to Him as He determines – we do not have any right or power to dictate to Him how we will approach Him. We must give up our rights; God determines our life course. Therefore, the only option we have if we truly want to be a Christian, is to yield to the Lordship of God.
What does this truth mean for me practically? I am seeking to settle in my heart the fact that I am single and possibly will be for the rest of my life. I want to be content in this station. I don’t want the focus of my life to be “looking for a man”; to think that I cannot be effective in ministry or life in general unless I have a husband to partner with. I feel I have a “right” to be married; to have that desire fulfilled. But that may not be God’s will for the course of my life. What am I going to do with that reality? With the present reality of my life as a single woman? Am I going to be embittered by it, or accept it as a gift from the hand of God and seek His desires? What does He want to do with me as a single woman? I am not worthless to the Kingdom because of my singleness. I know this – and much of my angst stems from loneliness. I desire to share my life with someone. And I cannot understand why God will not give me this desire – it is not a bad desire. He created us for companionship. But He has not seen fit to direct my life toward that end in this season. So what am I to do with this desire? And the other desires that go along with it – those desires that I awakened before their time and can’t seem to put to rest again? This is the struggle. So, I have to settle in my heart the resolve to follow Christ wherever and however He chooses to lead me. If that includes a life as a single woman, so be it. This must be the attitude of my heart. This implies a disposition of sacrifice. My struggle is that I want what I had when I was not in Christ, but cannot have it outside of His parameters.
Accepting God’s call for my life means saying no to my will, to my desires and yielding to the truth of His Word, to the limitations He has placed in His Word. I do this because I undertand that those limitations are there for my protection and for His glory. I must sacrifice my desire for the sake of following Christ. This is a heart change – a change of orientation away from my right to this pleasure and toward God’s higher purposes and plans for that pleasure. I just read in an article: “There is a higher calling on [my] life than doing what [I] want to do.”
Lord, help me!
posted by Michelle Lewis at 8:44 AM
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